#51 Presence 

Imagine you are there!
But how does it matter?
Even if you stay or leave,
Nothing much changes.

If that is it, think
You are there, but your presence is unfelt.
Surrounded by a lot of voices, others
There is work, there is soul, there is authority above.

Does it change anything though?

Probably it does.
As long as the authority is established,
An invisible target shall stand in front.
I will stand by to aim my feelings
Wiping away staleness, wiping fear, losing all.

Let the heart lose today,
She will arrive there when the time is right.

#49 Blue Moon

Speak out for real
What you have been holding so far
Things need to change
From how you have survived all scars
Now live your life without fears.

The abuses,
They do not know how you suffer,
Won’t stop,
Even if you submit to their power.

Wake up
Look into the eyes that stare you down
Rise up
You have to break your chains.

When you come out
No one will stand by you and help
I know it’s not easy
But trust me things will be okay!

You never ever know
How much you can help yourself
More than others
It’s your life and it will stay with you.

Uncage yourself
No more things will hold you back
Make it happen
You need to break free only once.

Look above
There’s a silver lining up there
Future changes
Things do not remain the same.

Fly to the sky
When you wish to move to another world
Blue Moon,
There’s a floating palace waiting for you.

One step
Is all it takes to walk away
Welcome,
To yourself in the end.
*************

#48 Enchanté 

Move far away after love, so forlorn
Gone, still the heart says no to it,
The vessel of wishes would keep on searching
Still I cannot make the ends meet.

Whenever I stand in front of you
Oh, I cannot speak my dreams
When I am away, I only wish for you.

Torn were all the accessories
Of my feelings hidden behind the futility
Time flowed countless, fairytales wiped away.
Still to get back again I pray.

Dreams are tied by kite strings
Turning musically some things said
Submissive this fancy
Not some pages from a story,
Still in dreams I wish, an entreaty.

What has sailed away should be forgiven
This lovely hellish enchant; but myself, I lose in her.
*************

#46 Mirror of Colours

Tearing through the haze smirks a shout
A whirling run makes life a lot less complicated
What was together from the start
Has now gone away in two different ways.

Starting at the night the fears become stronger
Loneliness feels less lonely, at least one companion
The pillow doesn’t get wet, they think I have matured.
Only if people knew how bad it hurts to pretend and live.

The mossy undergrowth has decided to cover the scars
Can the light pass through the broken glasses just the same?
Tonight a few drops rain again from the sky,
Wind will blow, time starts healing once more.

Feelings cannot be seen through the eyes,
They can be painted by heart and realised.
*************

#43 When it’s time for a break!

I haven’t been able to stay consistent recently. I end up scribbling something when I am overwhelmed with feelings. At times like that I also lose the ability to properly make sense. The lines below are a testament of that. They signify the pain you feel when the person you like does not trust you, and smiles for another. It’s not jealousy. I have matured enough to understand that. It is the helplessness that you feel. Life doesn’t make sense anymore.


It takes very little time to change,
It matters a lot on the outcome you are looking for.

Just the way the seasons come and go,
Us, we also move from one to another.

The long walks are almost certain to end,
Because after one day you know you cannot do the same thing again.

It is very hard to realise there is no finality in being
Yet hold onto it for the reason that it brings happiness.
It is equally hard to learn this and practice even if you know.

A smile is only a smile, for one it is precious and elusive,
For another it will never mean a thing.

The only difference is the reason why you smile.

I have known all, still I wasn’t able to heal.
I will remain stuck and I will still feel.

Maybe I am weak, maybe it’s destiny.
I know I will fail this time, I have to fall asleep.
*************

#42 Her Wishful Life

The burrows were empty there.
The winds blew all the time
Howled at any passers-by who tried to cross the field.
The dog sat blind under the pole.
And the sun burning everything for revenge.
What happens when this day ends?

The world for them will not change,
They will age and rot when time slips away.

The young girl looked steadily away
From her windows to the vast endlessness,
Her dog did not return.
The leaves never turned green again, the tree dried.
The winds carried sand into her eyes and made her cry. Her two teeth that had come up now were the only sign of aging,
Yet she was so spotless.

She did not know what time did. She did not care.
She had a song to sing.
She waited for the time when she could,
She needed to grow up.

Only thing she did not realise was time demanded a lot. It took away everything in the end.
She would sing but at the cost of being alone.
*************

#41 Women’s Day’s Night

My husband doesn’t love me,
I know he does not, he wishes for a new woman now.
Still today’s women’s day, he would pretend a bit more
Faking some love and making me moan
But is it for me, or it is to satisfy his own.

Things have been this way
Soured through all the bitterness of staying together.
Broken mirrors of trust and a huge ego
Was enough to kill us in one go.

It was never about me but the status that mattered more
A woman to keep you company
Others to keep you involved,
Why couldn’t you make me yours?

You’ll come again and pretend,
Again you’ll ask me for it,
Break my heart tonight.
***************