#44 Numbness, a bit.

Walk out of here,
Remember the times we spent together!

The last curling smoke
The feelings of the life before.

The broken glasses and the shattered dreams
Are not the only things that broke.

Walking over is painful
Knowing you don’t have a fault is killing me more.

Holding hands this long
Memory is a rope that now hangs me till death.

Known long enough,
To forget will take this lifetime.

How do you see my tears,
In the pouring rain?
*************

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#43 When it’s time for a break!

I haven’t been able to stay consistent recently. I end up scribbling something when I am overwhelmed with feelings. At times like that I also lose the ability to properly make sense. The lines below are a testament of that. They signify the pain you feel when the person you like does not trust you, and smiles for another. It’s not jealousy. I have matured enough to understand that. It is the helplessness that you feel. Life doesn’t make sense anymore.


It takes very little time to change,
It matters a lot on the outcome you are looking for.

Just the way the seasons come and go,
Us, we also move from one to another.

The long walks are almost certain to end,
Because after one day you know you cannot do the same thing again.

It is very hard to realise there is no finality in being
Yet hold onto it for the reason that it brings happiness.
It is equally hard to learn this and practice even if you know.

A smile is only a smile, for one it is precious and elusive,
For another it will never mean a thing.

The only difference is the reason why you smile.

I have known all, still I wasn’t able to heal.
I will remain stuck and I will still feel.

Maybe I am weak, maybe it’s destiny.
I know I will fail this time, I have to fall asleep.
*************

#28 Over Life

True or false,
A glass of whiskey,
My dream one night too long

So walk up, go figure
Climb that staircase
Oh you know what’s waiting!

I am just trying to make a living,
But that’s false.
Everything that I do,
Will come back too!

It’s true,
My life is,
A few stories at a time.

It was 2001+11+1,
When I knew,
The feeling of fear
Of falling from high.

Tumbling down into the uncertain,
Stress of singing a song
In a trembling voice of nervousness
Standing in front of all the pervasive eyes.

What will happen when the entire life just turns
Into a collage of nightmares
Waking up sweating,
Feeling lost and breathing hard.

From that moment
What is divine, is my life,
No more control
There one life ends.
*******************

#24 Here Before

​I have been here before, in a dream like state
Moving through the smoke in a crazed effect,
This place holds seas of time, unflowing and still,
The river of time is in the normal world till.

The apperception of the mind to a divided self
One of the past and a present uselessness,
One visible, the other hidden,
The difference in mind will remain to be buried.

All this is so unsure, nothing more to add,
To life itself.

If only one can bridge the different worlds
It would be so easy to know ourselves.

*************

#20 Where Will I Be?

An end to all tests that once started
With this there will be finally time
For my holidays and me, to follow,
The calling of an endless spirit trail.

As I seek to vanish down life,
Far away from where I would naturally be,
In helpless bondage where the body merely survives,
I’ll revisit these happy memories.

Let’s start at point one, where sea and sky meet
Wrecks lie like shredded skeletons of the past conquered fears.
Drowning so many hopes, in so little space
No chance to escape the waves, the life-boat tilts;
A new soul emerging since.

Warm sands to keep me company, a few footmarks
A lot of saltwater but no tear, I say!
It is my first walk away from home.

Then to the top from the deep
From a drive to a flight, a desire even higher
I climb up places to reach a no man’s land,
Pictures will stay to show it was never another dream.

The valleys, the gorge, the steep hill guards,
To a modern path with guns, fires, and countless wars,
Lives lost to protect many many whims
Have left on the future, permanent scars.

Where flowers bloom and fools sleep
Dissent is the norm and neighbours come and steal,
What can we do but to wait and watch,
Strings of pearly waters and snow covered peaks.

I ask myself where to next?
Here on now where will I be?
The only answer that sticks onto me,
Moving on wheels, a bit more outside.

This is life, a constant change,
Stripping down to the bones, I hear echoes of voicelessness.
*************

#17 Haiku Spree 1

I like composing stuff that I call Haiku. Maybe it’s very different from the “original” form and style, maybe even immature, but to me it is a perfectly valid way of expressing my thoughts.

(i)
Whenever I drown
To the depths of the unknown
I find myself again.
*****

(ii)
Mirrors can hide things
Imperfections they conceal,
Tears they cannot hide.
*****

(iii)
An old fallen leaf,
Is new to a traveller
As is his own path.
*****

(iv)
Even it’s summer,
My feelings have not changed;
But life still goes on.
*****

(v)
The last of my May
When the showers come and veil,
I will spend with you.
*****