#110 Stay the Night?

It’s time to get up and find our way
With watches past their usual rest,
Noises dead, a few cars out of silence,
Ours is a walk through an empty stretch.

Rain ceased a while back
The road is empty, still wet,
Familiar bend arrived too soon anyway
Your house just another turn away.

I had never seen the moon so big
Or so close, like sitting on top of the trees,
As soon as the clouds parted, in my life,
I’d never want this closeness to end.

From the regular café
To the walnut tree outside your home,
A short walk of holding hands
But, it feels like a blink is all it takes to reach.

Will you stop to light a cigarette under the tree,
Before you are hidden once more?
Even though the moon too goes missing for hours every day,
It’d not be difficult to choose who I pine more for!

My walk back is more difficult as I dream waking,
With every step a voice rings in my ears
Imagining my name called, you’d come running;
That you don’t! I walk back grudgingly.

Battle’s not lost till the white flag flies,
Even though I am ready to lose to you all the time
I’ll win over you and make you mine in this life,
Rescue you, breaking down your castle of solitude.

I pick up my phone, only one thought in my head,
“Every single day, you are all I crave,
Thinking about the love we’d make,
Why don’t you stay the night?”

On my bed there’s a faint lingering smell
And a memory of your fingers running on my face,
My floor an ashtray too, I notice scattered remembrances,
A couple of red lipstick stains.

I could never capture your beautiful dark eyes,
Sometimes I wish I could paint!
Instead I write for you these meaningless words,
I hold you in a name I gave.
*************

#101 Poem titled ‘You’

You are beautiful, you know?

A few moons, and the wind feels sweeter already,
The necklace stares hard, only if you let me
I’d look again, if you just turned around.

This city is very new, it feels so much more.
The metro rail, the stations here and there,
We find each other, we wait a bit in both.

Just running a little late today; I wanted to kiss,
Lucky is the cigarette between your bright red lips,
I will receive a few texts, “wait some more”!

Across the table you punish that bit of unruly hair,
A stab right there, a little bit of death,
Eyes hold my soul back, while your fingers ran havoc.

I run again through the book fair,
Crowded, very noisy, all those lovely books too,
Trying to find you in my created chaos.

I feel like this ‘young boy’ first time in love,
A little bit scared, a lot less man next to you,
While we walk back home, can you hold my hand?

Under the lamp post, I will wait.
Please look from your window once,
Then send a “good night” text.

*************

#93 Dream Song

Dreams that are afraid
Of the eyes of the strangers,
They reside in bodies
Made of some earthly pleasures.

The fallen flowers
Under the Magnolia tree,
Which had blossomed for us
Returned to earth in dust.

Under the dark
Lovers leave their fingers together,
Without redemption
Waiting to go to death all alone.

All feelings are gone
Nibbled by the river worms,
How is love to survive
From this to rise again?

Those songs of her
Are too precious to be shared,
But there is something about them
That tears at the heart.

*************

#87 Hint/s

Tearing sky and lashing rain!
Meaningful songs and candles’ flames!
Signs from heaven?
Alas! Too atheist to trust in them.

An artist’s face, should conveniently smile
The smart of a woman, confident and bold.
Let not past weigh in, nor let faults ensnare
Thrive in your dreams, make stories come real.

Your eyes are too dark, too melancholic
They scare me sometimes
Because I don’t understand anymore than you say
But when I look at you, is it a mirror I face?

Far too long for a single kiss if you ask,
What will a lifetime of togetherness cost then?
*************

#83 Eclipsed

A hopeless window
Through which my gaze wanders
Far ahead or tries to go,
Is closed now.

The hinges broken,
Glasses blackened,
Nothing can be seen so,
No longer can I be a flaneur.

To even walk
Is a fear of losing a space.
What would happen to it,
My ledge on the windowsill?

But what is this new shadow?
The purplish black 月.
A modern Fairytale,
Full of rage, of her own loneliness.

Moving in from the far side
Scenic yet terrible, the most beautiful,
A heart yet unknown
Will I settle there finally?

Will we meet someplace else?
No, her shadow will stay on me,
The figure will not come close
Only the sky remains closed off.

Being face to face
My heart wishes to stop,
Lest it hurt again
I end up alone again, naturally.

In front of the broken window
I stray in my thoughts of the moon
The entire world falling too dark
In the eclipse of my mind numbed.
*************

#81 মন খারাপের চিঠি

আজকে একটা বিশেষ দিন। বিশেষ, কারণ এই দিনে পাঁচ বছর পূর্ণ হত। ভেবে রেখেছিলাম যে আজকের দিনটা ঘটা করে পালন করব, নতজানু হব, সারাজীবনের অঙ্গীকারটা সম্মান করব।
কিন্তু কিছু জিনিস আছে যা আমরা যত বেশি করে চাই তত আমাদের থেকে দূরে সরে যায়। জীবনের ওই ভালো থাকার ইচ্ছেগুলো মরীচিকাময়!

আজকের আমার মনের অবস্থাটা বড্ড শোচনীয় আর দুশ্চিন্তায় আচ্ছন্ন। তাই আজ একটা লেখা দিলাম, হয়তো নিজের ভার একটু কমানোর জন্য।

এটা লিখেছিলাম নাগপুর থেকে ফেরার পথে। ব্যাথা চেপে রাখার কষ্ট আর হেরে যাবার ভয় নিয়ে, সমস্ত স্বপ্নের ভূতেদের থেকে পালাবার জন্য। তখন বুঝেছি যে বাঁচার একটাই পথ, চোখ বুজে থাকা।

জানালার বাইরে তখন জলের ঝাপটা, প্লেন ছুটে চলেছে রানওয়ে ধরে, আকাশকে কাছে পেতে।

আর আমি?
– তখন অনেক দূরে, ফেলে আসা সময়ে, আর কখনো না হওয়া ভবিষ্যতের মাঝে আটকে।


বৃষ্টিটা আবার ভেজায়
দরজার বাইরে মাত্র কয়েক পা,
সিঁড়ি ধরে উঠি, মাথা নিচু করে
ভয় করে, হারিয়ে ফেলব সব
যেমন আগে হারিয়েছে একবার।

সেবার ছিলাম অনেক দূরে
তোমার ওপরে অনেক ভরসা করে
মনে ছিল তুমি পারবে রাখতে
ভালোবাসায় ভরে, কষ্ট ভুলে,
জীবনের অংশ ভেবে।

যখন এলাম ফিরে, শীতের রাতে
তোমার কান্না শুনে ভেঙেছে ঘুম
দেখি, নেই সব,
ভেসে গেছে এক বৃষ্টির জলে
তুমিও গেছ অনেক দূরে, অন্ধকারের পারে!

অনেক ভুল ছিল মাথার উপরে,
সমস্ত ঈর্ষা জ্বালিয়ে, যন্ত্রণা থেকে
ভালবেসেছিলাম নিজের মত করে,
সরিয়ে দেওয়া, এখনও একা,
থাকতে পারিনি তোমায় ছেড়ে।

সূর্য আজও দেখি, রাতের অস্তাচলে
গল্প সত্যি না হবার প্রতিশ্রুতি শুনে
তোমার প্রতিচ্ছবির আকর্ষন রুখে,
শুধু অনেক কিছুই মিলল না এ জীবনে
আমার আক্ষেপ বাঁধি দুচোখ বুজে।

বাতাস ছুঁয়ে, অনেকদিন পরে
এলাম মনের খোঁজ নিতে।
কেমন আছে সে একাকী, গভীরে তলিয়ে,
প্লেনের জানালার ধারে বসে
মেঘ দেখে, চোখের বৃষ্টিতে ভিজে?
*************

#77 Dream Girl.

It started with smiles as we walked past
Moved to a wave when we became friends
Then we sat and talked as things progressed
And came to texts, like things meant a lot
Finally on call we poured our hearts.

I know not where we go next,
Because this is a dream come true
You and me, and life seems complete.

Every time that the sun finds me through the windows,
I am still searching,
The gaze, the eyes, they hold me.

When the phone lets out a ring, I rush
If there is a word from you, how can I ignore!
I wait to hear all that you have to say.

Your voice is the one that moves my soul
Makes me weak and crave one meet
To sit and be with you.

You ought to know,
You are the sunshine, keeps my heart going
You are the right one, at the right moment.

I am falling head over heels.
looking for ways to tell,
You are the one, you are what I have been dreaming of.
*************

#74 Love Undead

I was madly in love with you
I was, I am still, I will be,
Because you taught me to love.

Before, it was a word,
Now it holds meaning
The feelings will stay with me.

Feelings are but burned marks
Etched in the heart
The clock ticks, I still breathe.

Even if things have changed,
Values diminished, feelings blocked,
I would live with the pictures I have.

Even if all the leaves fall in autumn and dry,
The tree bears pain and carries on living for another spring.
*************

#73 The feeling of a question mark

When a story starts with two
It goes on for a few days
Some feelings match, some scatter,
Even after times of togetherness.
Two does not hold
Falls apart to one,
And another nameless stranger.

Time brings a lot of changes
Known to unknown,
And the distant stranger becomes close.
But the biggest power of time
No one knows what it will bring
Good or bad, love or a heartbreak.
It will only be known when the time comes
Bringing the stranger along.

Life changes a lot
Through storm, clouds, and the sun
Does not let you grow beyond.
Where mind wants peace, life takes tests
Two plus two never make four
All growth ends in myself,
A few strangers come to nudge.

I am also a stranger, to myself
I am an eclipse for you.
Even if feelings match, still we move far
Because this life is a walk alone
A stranger, moving from two to a growth,
Holding the hands of time.

*************