#114 A poem of 12 months

Wish you all a very happy New Year.

I sincerely hope that this new year, unlike the one before it, brings you peace and happiness.

Here’s a small photo card from one of the recent photos I clicked using my new Fujifilm camera.

Absolute Stillness of Sal River (Kopai) Fujifilm X-T200 Viltrox 23mm f1.4 1/10000 ISO200

I have fallen in love with the Fujifilm system and the film simulations. I am constantly finding myself going to either Classic Chrome or the film recipe of “Eterna”. [Update: Fujicolor Superia 800 is now officially my favourite film recipe for my camera. Here’s the link to the amazing Fujixweekly.com creation. Just go check out the photos and the beautiful blue sky in them, trust me you’ll love the colour.] I’ll try and take lots of photos this year and I would definitely like to experiment more with Black & White and “Acros” film simulation. Hopefully I’ll be able to go out and find inspiration from things around me.

For this new year, I would like to share a poem with you which I had written thinking about how feelings themselves change throughout the year and how the passing months affect them.

This poem was written with a lot of love, inspiration and help from someone I consider very close to me, a friend from JUDE. I am sharing this with you in the way it was conceived without any changes or edits. This is one of the longest poems I have composed and I have shared here on my blog. Hope you’ll like this as much as I did.

A Poem of XII Months

Beginning is always the most difficult part,
Frozen remains and ghosts of last year’s recent past
Still resurface suddenly, then they vanish,
Hopeless for the new year’s journey is to begin.

The quiet of a full snow mars life,
Sweet apples taste stale,
Colours fade to a dull monochromatic,
Pen or life, refuse to move to a new calendar.

So many changes but nothing really changes,
Pretending to be the same again
Is how another Valentine’s came and went,
New hopes quickly dashed once more.

I wore my red and pink hues everywhere
While holding on to my greys and blacks,
Strolls in long coat with a feeling
The chill of almost living an identical life afresh.

Just a peek, they jump in suddenly,
The sun’s rays tiptoe,
Dew stuck longing in the grass
Time to fade, but the day’s anew.

Vines trudged up, holding on to the last year’s vision
Celebrations befall their golden charm,
Accompanying cackles heard from Gerbera,
The passion of youth, my spring was here.

Too tempting these days of restlessness,
Being lost on the roads, this life’s calling,
Just to be remembered by photographs,
Days of roses and wine.

Summer’s right around the corner,
With her bright blue eyes, piercing souls,
Scanning from coast to coast,
Looking to find her one true love.

A cycle bell, someone leaving home,
The newspaper is not coming today,
After a tiring night-long attention
Dogs curl and sleep, but the day’s starting.

The guarding trees stand slightly bent
Bowing for a new sun, the wind stroking their heads,
Merry chirps and colourful flights
Excitement that even a flight cannot paint.

When the sky turned pink,
I sat there dreaming,
Wind whispered to me playfully
Are we made for each other?

The grass leaned on me, my hair ruffled,
Losing myself to the calming touches
I lay down my heart there, in the grasp of earth,
Where enlightenment dawns to a realisation.

The rain I had waited for, finally arrived,
Showers continued, lightning raged,
Scary thunders blasted my fears
As I stood motionless under the rain.

I was soaked, the trees swayed in laughter
A helpless soul trying to face Nature
Little they knew, I did not,
I was paying my debt back, I wanted closure.

In the visibile tail of a shooting star
Or in stars that remain far away looking down,
Moving gently from the complete dark, I desired,
Wishes even I knew weren’t possible.

White is the colour of surrender,
To a hope of renewal within the soul
Changes leading to an association of satisfaction,
Where I was alone, I now had friends.

A month given away to old pages
Letters that never found their way to the hearts
Happy moments that never happened,
Wrong decisions with no regrets.

Remnants from a life of contrasts
These expressions were persistently sordid,
Where Shiulis were scattered in the morning
Tiny hands appeared to gather benediction.

Sadness hides within our mellow Autumn
Cleaning the old photographs from an old April,
Stairs feel harder to climb this month,
The fireplace and squirrels find themselves busy.

Dreaming intrudes in an otherwise pedestrian reality
Where all the promises of friendship lay defeated,
In the stuffy weather flew in cardinal messages
From someone’s radio crooning sad old love songs.

We promised to see the first snow together;
From the frozen bridges
Last sunset looked too distant, solemnly
Bringing back unkind shadows of the year.

Even in the distance a soft music breezes
Catching a terrible beauty with surprise
Loneliness had to be sung to be felt,
For the few hours left to prepare for the winter ahead.

It was an end to a beautiful day,
With the clock stopping its hands at XII,
Will a new year start with new pleasures?
Or it’ll form another day like the ones lived till now.

With a few things carried over from last year
Often the weight is more, of invisible memories;
Instead of choosing to forget, remember,
Yesterday was equally brilliant for an incessant single day.

As planned, I will be taking a break from this blog for some time. I hope I don’t end up abandoning this blog completely though. I enjoy writing these occasional ramblings of a mad man and sharing some of them through this blog. I do not know if you enjoy reading them or you just laugh at the miserable old man who is losing his sanity and eyesight equally fast.

Let me share my new year’s resolutions with you:

  • This year I’ll try (and definitely fail) to focus on writing my thesis and getting some work done.
  • I plan to go on a lot of solo bike rides and click lots and lots of photos on my Fujifilm.
  • I promise to finish all the K-dramas I have been meaning to watch on Netflix since forever.
  • I won’t disappoint my burgers and iced tea anymore. I’ll wholeheartedly dedicate myself to them. I’ll also go out and try a few drinks I have been meaning to check out since last year.
  • I plan to (hopefully) not disappoint my close friends and spend good times with them. They have given me a lot of strength throughout 2020, and I owe them big time for everything that they have selflessly done for me. NO FRIENDS!!!

Let’s hope 2021 becomes a wonderful year for all of us. I pray that you find magic everywhere and most importantly in yourself.

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