“Why are you like this?” they had asked,
“You’ll ruin everything”; I sure did.
Although I keep wishing I’d change
Still cannot cross the river for my sake.
All things are gone,
I burn bridges to stay.
Even then I suffer and scream
As I wish to die laying on the table.
Waiting for the other person,
To let go first and be free.
Tell me, if it isn’t dark,
How will the stars shine?
If anyone does read these ramblings of a mad young man of questionable age and wisdom, I would stop writing anything for some time. I might write, but I will not post. Because lately whatever I have been posting, I think are very poor (except maybe one or two that I liked) and repetitive. Even though I write for myself and for the sake of expressing myself, I still think I need a break. It is time to do some soul searching first.
Why do I write about just one theme? Can I move outside of that? When will my wounds heal?
A lot of difficult questions for a person who has trouble with understanding himself. I could very easily have labelled myself an introvert, but I am not that easy to see through. Maybe I can find some answers if you help me out, one way or another. One day some beautiful photo on Instagram, or a drawing that’s just for me, or someone with the courage to hold my hands will bring me answers. Till then….