#80 Heart Speak

“Why are you like this?” they had asked,
“You’ll ruin everything”; I sure did.

Although I keep wishing I’d change
Still cannot cross the river for my sake.

All things are gone,
I burn bridges to stay.

Even then I suffer and scream
As I wish to die laying on the table.

Waiting for the other person,
To let go first and be free.

Tell me, if it isn’t dark,
How will the stars shine?

*************

If anyone does read these ramblings of a mad young man of questionable age and wisdom, I would stop writing anything for some time. I might write, but I will not post. Because lately whatever I have been posting, I think are very poor (except maybe one or two that I liked) and repetitive. Even though I write for myself and for the sake of expressing myself, I still think I need a break. It is time to do some soul searching first.

Why do I write about just one theme? Can I move outside of that? When will my wounds heal?

A lot of difficult questions for a person who has trouble with understanding himself. I could very easily have labelled myself an introvert, but I am not that easy to see through. Maybe I can find some answers if you help me out, one way or another. One day some beautiful photo on Instagram, or a drawing that’s just for me, or someone with the courage to hold my hands will bring me answers. Till then….

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