#44 Numbness, a bit.

Walk out of here,
Remember the times we spent together!

The last curling smoke
The feelings of the life before.

The broken glasses and the shattered dreams
Are not the only things that broke.

Walking over is painful
Knowing you don’t have a fault is killing me more.

Holding hands this long
Memory is a rope that now hangs me till death.

Known long enough,
To forget will take this lifetime.

How do you see my tears,
In the pouring rain?

#43 When it’s time for a break!

I haven’t been able to stay consistent recently. I end up scribbling something when I am overwhelmed with feelings. At times like those I also lose the ability to properly make sense. The lines below are a testament of that. They signify the pain you feel when the person you like does not trust you, and smiles for another. It’s not jealousy. I have matured enough to understand that. It is the helplessness that you feel. Life doesn’t make sense anymore.

It takes very little time to change,
It matters a lot on the outcome you are looking for.

Just the way the seasons come and go,
Us, we also move from one to another.

The long walks are almost certain to end,
Because after one day you know you cannot do the same thing again.

It is very hard to realise there is no finality in being
Yet hold onto it for the reason that it brings happiness.
It is equally hard to learn this and practice even if you know.

A smile is only a smile, for one it is precious and elusive,
For another it will never mean a thing.

The only difference is the reason why you smile.

I have known all, still I wasn’t able to heal.
I will remain stuck and I will still feel.

Maybe I am weak, maybe it’s destiny.
I know I will fail this time, I have to fall asleep.

#42 Her Wishful Life

The burrows were empty there.
The winds blew all the time
Howled at any passers-by who tried to cross the field.
The dog sat blind under the pole.
And the sun burning everything for revenge.
What happens when this day ends?

The world for them will not change,
They will age and rot when time slips away.

The young girl looked steadily away
From her windows to the vast endlessness,
Her dog did not return.
The leaves never turned green again, the tree dried.
The winds carried sand into her eyes and made her cry. Her two teeth that had come up now were the only sign of aging,
Yet she was so spotless.

She did not know what time did. She did not care.
She had a song to sing.
She waited for the time when she could,
She needed to grow up.

Only thing she did not realise was time demanded a lot. It took away everything in the end.
She would sing but at the cost of being alone.

#41 Women’s Day’s Night

My husband doesn’t love me,
I know he does not, he wishes for a new woman now.
Still today’s women’s day, he would pretend a bit more
Faking some love and making me moan
But is it for me, or it is to satisfy his own.

Things have been this way
Soured through all the bitterness of staying together.
Broken mirrors of trust and a huge ego
Was enough to kill us in one go.

It was never about me but the status that mattered more
A woman to keep you company
Others to keep you involved,
Why couldn’t you make me yours?

You’ll come again and pretend,
Again you’ll ask me for it,
Break my heart tonight.

#40 At the bus stop

The road has been too old, the view still new
It is here that I sit patiently and await your footsteps.
Falling leaves, passing cars, a few eager glances thrown my way
They do not know why I would sit alone while others choose to move ahead.

All the ambitions are gone and everything finished,
I just have one question in my mind
Would you be coming over at this time,
Or do I have to come again another day?

The story should have ended long back.
It never started when we sat together for a cup of tea.
It did not even when we fought over the phone every day,
It did when you decided to move away and leave me.

Time did change the feeling, it made things bleak.
Without use why bother about a person who’s gone, my friends said,
I thought gone she might be, I still at the bus stop wait!