#17 Haiku Spree 1

I like composing stuff that I call Haiku. Maybe it’s very different from the “original” form and style, maybe even immature, but to me it is a perfectly valid way of expressing my thoughts.

(i)
Whenever I drown
To the depths of the unknown
I find myself again.
*****

(ii)
Mirrors can hide things
Imperfections they conceal,
Tears they cannot hide.
*****

(iii)
An old fallen leaf,
Is new to a traveller
As is his own path.
*****

(iv)
Even it’s summer,
My feelings have not changed;
But life still goes on.
*****

(v)
The last of my May
When the showers come and veil,
I will spend with you.
*****

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#16 Reverting from the language that I was taught

One by one I have spent
Feelings of great degree
On you, on you, on you.

Do you even understand,
What I am trying to relate,
And the half that remains unsaid?

Writing comes naturally, they said,
Yet they tried teaching how to write!
It never helped me learn, to express myself.

I respond only when someone asks me a question
Like a humanoid built to task, emotionless and inanimate.
I still cannot write.

My language is not my own,
This, I was made to know and use
Now I remember not what my language was.

Do you know what words I called out,
When I was just a child?
They said it was gibberish, meaningless.

But that was my language, the one I was born with
I learnt it myself without any help
For it made perfect sense to me.

Then they came, with books and notes
Carefully calibrated stuff to clog my mind
To make me forget the innate divine.

I was caged to profession
Of learning, forgetting, and learning
Things that I never felt any desire for.

Now, I might be a failure, in their view
Still I deny to live like them
And give myself up to the claim, that knowledge is everything.

I am not a slave, and I believe in myself
I will know from my own experience
I will learn my way to express myself.

So I will write and come back to you
With knowledge that I have gained
To counter all that they have taught us through the time.
*************

#15 পরীক্ষা সত্য কথা

আমার মুছে গেছে যে হাসি,
আজ ভাবনায় আমি বানভাসি
কি করে করব পার এই বাধা?
শঙ্কায় ঝরে ঘাম, ঝরে অশ্রুধারা।

মনে শুধু আসে –
কত ভালো ছিলাম কলেজের আগে
একটাই কথা ঘোরে শুধু বারবার
হে হরি, এখন, আমারে কর পার!

দিন ঘনিয়ে আসে, পরীক্ষা পাড়ে ডাক,
সারা বছর কাটালাম আড্ডা দিতে দিতে।
কিন্তু ফাঁকি মারাই ছিল আমার কাজ,
ফোন বেজে যায়, ধরে না কেউ আজ!

কি আবার হবে?

আছে পরীক্ষা পরশু,
ফলে পড়তে হবে কিছু,
কিন্তু ঘুম পেয়েছে খুব,
সারাদিনের শেষে তাই মন খারাপে ডুব।
*************

#14 Life in a city

Hidden behind pictures
Of a thousand lonely smiles
There are certain truths
From the life of one unlucky guy.

Truths that no one else can see
Feelings he only can feel in him.
Shade and light, dark or bright,
A bag full of mysteries.

Walking from morning to night,
Shackles around the feet
Carrying work all week long,
Haze of dusty grey filled city.

Along the walk came a bed of roses
Tired, he fell asleep.
A sleep that went on for hours,
A sleep that only lasted forever.
*************

#13 Alone, Awake, Alive.

Closed eyes towards the world
I sleep a lonely night,
It’s late and I still wait for a knock
To come, and show me the light.

I can do what it takes to be free,
So it matters not what others think of me,
Dreams will come even if I lose all hope
Staring continuously at the big wall in desperation.

I know what the radio said
“Take control of your own voice”,
What it did not say was –
“speak with your own heart”.

I am trying to reach out,
Having had lost all connections to the world.
The world was maybe the same without me,
But only I can make it my own again.

This time I am not falling behind,
Going for a search through thousands of thoughts,
I’ll find myself in my own mind.
*****************

#12 For Us, It’s A New Love

This time feels like new
A feeling we never had before,
One Spring visit
Bringing new love and fulfilment
Just for us two.

To love, is to be happy
Head high and heart singing tunes
Fearing none, running along
For all mysteries holding dear feelings
And a soul like the sky.

In one breathless waking, thinking,
Will we last this lifetime, together?

Losing us in each other, holding hands
Every time we try, it feels like the last time.
**************

#11 A Chase for Sleep

A chase for a sleep, a story –
Once upon a time, it was an evening then
In a room filled with strangers, I felt
Haunting matters stuck deep in my fears.

Enter a passionate woman, a silent curse,
My own Luna, and I watched,
With a group of miserably alike,
She was our all not so secret desire.

She sat at a corner seat,
The opposite sofa I occupied
My heart raced at our distant intimacy,
Success at our chances to meet.

Paper roses and empty bottles
Fuzzy light bulbs hanging from above
Their significance weighing down my life
I sit and wait for the woman to finish her tale.

The story broke all order
Suggesting no meaning at all
She narrated, I listened
When will my turn come to speak?

Pieces fall in their places to the end
The puzzle that we both had to speak
Looking forward to walking back in memory
Falling over one thing that led to something else.

One hopeless night was blown away
No choice was given to soothe in faux calm
Meaningless sex in a rented room,
Again tomorrow a walk of shame had to wait.
*************